J and I were best friends for over a year before we started dating. I think that is a big reason why things moved so fast for us. We already knew each other pretty well and it was easy to just jump in full force. I moved in after only 4 months. That’s pretty quick! I was sure he was “the one”. When I spoke to him yesterday he confirmed that he felt the same. So… what happend? How can we go from being so in love and planning the rest of our lives to this. Whatever it is. I love him. He says he loves me. (I guess I have no choice but to believe him.) But we are no longer ‘in love’. I know that we could be. I was willing to work on it. But he wasn’t. The biggest problem in our relationship was our inability to communicate with one another. Even though we are very similar in many ways, we have quite a few differences. Significant differences in how we veiw the world and how we react to certain events. And we were both stubborn and very decisive in what we thought was ‘right’. We were both right, AND, we were both wrong. So were does that leave us? It is over. We have no relationship now. We are trying to salvage a friendship. But will it ever be the way it was? It can’t. I can’t imagine ever thinking of him and not imagining what it was like to be in his arms and feel the heat of his body next to mine. To be the first and last voice I heard each day. What will our friendship look like? Can we be friends? I keep telling myself that I would rather have him as a friend than not in my life at all, but can I do that? Can I forgive him? Can he forgive me?

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